Preparation for the Great Migration

I had a bit of an “Oh $#%T” moment when I got back to Point last night (and am still continuing to have it, mind you!) after bringing home a bunch of stuff to keep there over the summer. 

I’m still finding it a little overwhelming and hard to believe that in a less than I week, I am going to be westward bound, hot on the trail to Nevada. It is one of those surreal moments where you think this can’t be quite right. However this opportunity found its way to me, I’m glad of it. I am beyond excited, albeit it’s a quiet excitement, at least on the outside. 

On the inside, well now, that’s a different story. I’m flipping out!  So much to do, so much to organize, who are these people I’m going to be living with for the next three months, will I be the odd person out, are we going to mesh together ok…???? And still so many people left to make last minute visits to. 

OK, just breathe…I really shouldn’t be this wigged out. I’ve gone numerous new places for an extended amount of time without incident. Why is this any different? Can’t really explain that one.

I’m trying, somewhat unsuccessfully, to stay focused for the remainder of the week. I’m taking all of my final exams early in order to get out to Nevada on time, so it is major crunch time! Then what’s she doing here…? I know, I know…There are simply too many thoughts swirling in mind that I’ve got to get them out. 

I just spent the last two and a half hours finishing up my last paper for my outdoor writing class, so I needed a little breather…I’m rather proud of this paper too. This time I wrote a natural history article about the preservation of the Quetico-Superior Wilderness in northern Minnesota and along the Canadian border. I very loosely covered its geology, wildlife, unique distinction as a transition zone between boreal and hardwood forests, and the human elements, of course, including Ojibwe settlement, the fur trade, white pine logging, and iron ore mining. This is all culminated in the “crusade for conservation” of natural resources of the region and ultimately its preservation as a designated wilderness. Pretty neat stuff!

It seems I’m still channeling Sigurd Olson. I can live with that.

When I’m not channeling Sigurd Olson, I’ve been nose deep in everything else, frantically trying to finish up a few assignments, study for exams, pack up the rest of my room and coordinate housing with my fellow technicians. Still haven’t got that last one figured out yet. Working on it though! 

I also managed to snag time with a few friends I haven’t seen in a while, play with two of the most awesome toddlers at our end of the year barbecue (my arms and neck are still feeling that one!), and do some good old-fashioned manual labor turning my grandma’s compost, in the rain (still feeling this one too!) All of these things added up to be great therapy just to let go of all the little things, if only for a little while. 

Having these moments keep me grounded, and for that, I couldn’t be more grateful.

"Why Wilderness?"

First things first, I feel I should apologize for the changing template. I am still reacquainting myself with some of the features on Blogger...that and I am a bit curious. So, as a head's up, don't be surprised if it changes again.

At the moment, things are going well as can be. The sun was shining yesterday and little today. Got my first minor sunburn of the year. I've been riding my bicycle (imagine this being said in the voice of Freddie Mercury). Saw a Red-tail hauling a stick for a nest. Saw a great performance by a local author/humorist/amateur farmer. Life is good.

So why is it that I still feel like a lump at times? I'm still trying to figure this one out.

Even though I realize it is somewhat unhealthy, mentally speaking, I bottle most of my thoughts, until at some point the top blows. Intuitively I know internalizing everything won't solve much, but at the same time it is good as any tactic to avoid proverbial elephants that are taking up space when you a strapped for time. Hence why I keep doing it. I don't think I mean to. It just happens. And I think it happens more than most people like to admit.

I am sure most people, myself included, are fortunate to have unwavering and compassionate support systems, whether they recognize it or not. I am in the I-often-forget-I-have-this-person-or-that-person-I-can-talk-category. As a result, thoughts, feelings, emotions are filed away for inevitable eruption.

One reason, I think, for our (and my) bottling up things is that we are conditioned early on not to talk to much about ourselves, try to draw attention to ourselves and to be strong in undesirable circumstances. How many times have you deflected compliments meant for you specifically? I am famously guilty of this. It is hard to accept something you yourself don't believe is true, even though something deep inside tells you it must be so or else you wouldn't have received the praise. This is why it can be hard, say, to write a cover letter or to interview for a job. Instead of imposing self-importance, we are often taught to be considerate and respectful to others.

So where is the happy medium between all of this? Where do all of our thoughts, ideas, opinions, feelings lurk, if not in the back of our minds (or in cyber space)? How do we overcome this? Some of us hold it in, then blow our tops; some of us wear our emotions at the front; some of us write. I am trying to get better with the last in order to avoid the first. I pride myself in the fact that I was once fairly good at keeping a daily journal, but have since fallen away from that.

It's said the bad habits are hard to break, but what about trying form good ones? Why is that equally as hard? I've often asked myself this and have yet to find an answer, even after much effort. If anyone has any insight or secret recipes they'd be willing to share, it would be greatly appreciated!

A preview of things to come: yes, I know! At moment, I am working a piece of writing profiling the life of Sigurd F. Olson, renowned as a nature writer and wilderness conservationist, for one of my classes that I'm rather excited about. Once the final touches have been added, I'll be posting it for your reading pleasure.

If you have not had the chance to read any of his work, I would definitely recommend it! There is a flare of simple elegance and quiet wisdom that permeates through the pages of his books and essays. Any lover of the outdoors is sure to feel something close to kinship as they read about the haunting warbling of loons or the flickering dance of the northern lights.

I'll leave you with one the quotes from Olson that I find fitting, especially for my ever-evolving environmental ethic:

"Wilderness is a spiritual necessity, an antidote to the high pressure of modern life, a means of regaining serenity and equilibrium."